1. Install low energy lightbulbs in your house and invest in some 'light diffusing' blinds. The house may be a tip but if you can't see it properly it doesn't count.
2. Only invite friends over for supper or evening hot chocolates. See above.
(Alternatively get a cleaner and never speak of it so to appease the guilt of not being able to do it all yourself)
3 Fake tan. Not only will you look like a sundrenched Goddess, your skintone will match the circles under your eyes.
4. Pray for alopecia from the neck downwards.
5. When the school decides to run a bake sale save a bit of time by popping to your local supermarket (preferably after 10pm when you don't run the risk of bumping into teacher/parent situation) and purchasing fairy cakes. By taking them out of their cases and adding icing sugar/cherries and/or a light dusting of decoration you are able to pass them off as all your own work. So long as you don't answer 'Yes' when asked if you made them yourself its a mere technicality. Just smile.
