Today I took my little girl for a spot of lunch with one of my oldest friends. Oldest as in I've known her forever, not like she's eighty or something. We decided to go to a local garden centre which has a lovely restaurant attached, serving local produce and yummy cheeses. I think the loveliness of this eaterie was somewhat lost on D as she slept through it entirely! Anyway I was actually ten minutes early ( unheard of on planet Kate) so I grabbed a table and took some time to do a spot of people watching. My attention was taken by a little girl of about four who kept smiling at us then hiding behind a rather large napkin. 'Look' she said to her mummy as she pointed at my daughter 'a baby'. She proceeded to coo over and stroke D's face for a few seconds before turning to her mum in a very matter of fact way and asked 'Where do babies come from?!' I was instantly propelled back in time to when my son (nearly eight) asked me the exact same question. He'd come out of school one day laughing his head off with his little mate, looking like he was dying to say something. He waited until we were home before announcing 'James said he came out of his mummy's front bum - how ridiculous is that??!!' It was only when he realised I wasn't agreeing with that fact that he began asking questions, somewhat panicked. 'Mummy' he began 'Pllleeeaasseee tell me that's not true? Please tell me I didn't come out of yours, please mum??' I thought I may aswell get it out the way so I explained that's how most babies enter the world, however I'd had an emergency c section with him so he'd come out via the more 'scenic' route. The look of relief on his face was clear, then the question 'Id been dreading....'But how did I get in there?' I decided then was a good a time as any to have 'the chat' and spoke about a special Mummy garden, which needed a special seed from a Daddy so with love and the right care the seed could grow into a baby. I stupidly even secretly commended myself for how creatively I'd handled 'the chat' and how grown up my little man was. It wasn't until a few months later (me heavily pregnant) sitting in the same garden centre restaurant with my Mum that my son decided to share his infinite wisdom. 'Nanny' he declared 'I know how the baby got into Mummy's tummy!' My poor unsuspecting mum smiled and answered 'Do you?' He smiled as he proudly announced 'Yes Nanny. Mummy swallowed Shaun's nuts!' I nearly snorted tea out of my nose. My mum burst into a fit of shocked giggles. I think the seed conversation was totally lost on him.
So today, as I sat with my friend at lunch, all I could do was smile at the lady at the table and give her the 'mothers unite' sympathy face, knowing that in another few years I'd have to have the conversation all over again with my daughter. I've got a while to prepare, this time I think I'll leave the creative garden/seed/nuts element out and stick to the facts!
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