Just a bird. No bees.....

A bird pooed on my sister. Not a little neat streak of inoffensive white poo but full on smelly sloppy poo, all over her head and weirdly her hand too. Now just for the record this seagull has had it in for us since we arrived at our hotel. Every morning I see him staring at my through the window with his beady little eyes. He then watches us have breakfast and had the audacity to sit at the side of the pool as we swim. It's like he is mocking us, he has a bit of a cock sure swagger about him that I just don't like, and I think he knows it. Today at around half three I noticed him in the palm tree next to our sunbeds. He had a few of his mates over and they insisted on making a racket-clearly attention seeking. My friend pointed out he was hovering a bit near to the beds, I agreed he was mugging us off as I'd made it quite clear I didn't like him hanging around. He did a few swoops of the area and at that point decided to open his squawky little bowels and deposit last nights tea on to my poor unsuspecting sister. Through the tears of laughter I managed to reassure her that I'm sure he was aiming for me, as Sam shrieked (loud enough to wake the dead) 'Smell it, smell it, smell my finger it smells of fish!!!' This drew a fair bit of attention from the sunworshipers around the pool as I tried to point out a bird had pooed. Turns out the lady across the way had too felt something warm and wet on her back and had assumed it was my over zealous suntan lotion application, until she smelt the stench of rotten fish. 'Oh well' she cheerily said 'Its lucky!' Lucky? Really? Rather than holding out for lady luck to fix a lottery win I'd suggest a trip to the shower. And quickly!